International Ministries

God at Work: Keeping me from despair

September 14, 2009 Journal
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Several years ago, while I was on a speaking tour in an Asian country, a national TV production crew there was filming my presentations and interviews as part of a documentary they were producing about human trafficking and child prostitution.  I could tell that the young producer was becoming increasingly frustrated with my interviews.  Finally, she handed me a prepared script that I was supposed to memorize and then dramatize, which, she claimed, had to be the REAL situation.  The essence of the script was that the stories I heard from girls and women who had been abused and exploited kept me awake at night and caused me to cry uncontrollably during the day.  It went on with descriptions of my despair and desperation.  She wanted much more drama than I was giving.  My stories of Hope and Restoration weren’t good TV.

As politely as I could I let her know that I could only speak the truth.  Yes, there have been times when I have stayed awake at night.  And my greatest nightmare, and self-accusation has been the voices saying to me “You can’t do enough”.  And yes, I have cried tears of  sadness and despair--tears that cried out “Why can’t you do more?”  But ultimately, the  tears of heart-break on behalf of broken lives and the dark fears of inadequacy have given way to the gentle voice of the One who has let me know, over and over again, that the ministry with which I have been entrusted, is not mine.  It is His.  And God will give me--and those with whom I work--the energy and strength and wisdom and resources needed to do what He intends for us to do.  But in every minute of every day, the precious, broken lives that we touch, need to be surrendered into His care.    

And therein lies great, great Hope.   Because, after all, it is God’s work of Redemption and Healing.  Endless tears and lack of sleep only drains the energy that can be used to touch lives and share the Hope and Love that we know through Jesus.  The truth of our Hope lies in the circle of embrace and surrender.  Touching and letting go.   

That particular TV production didn’t turn out well.  Oh well…
Tune into tomorrow to hear about a production that IS going well—a great encouragement to many!